Ranting and Ravings
Ranting and Ravings
Fear
Monday, May 18, 2015
Every warrior in every culture has the same dream at some point. It is that of the unstoppable foe. No matter how hard you hit him, stab him, shoot him or even drop a building on him, he keeps coming at you like the robot from the Terminator movies.
Dream analysis is far from an exact science. But it is not hard to figure out that the meaning for this one is that the dreamer has subconscious fears that he won't be able to do enough when the time comes.
This doesn't sit well with most, because we despise fear. As much as we hate fear, admitting to it is even worse for many of us.
But fear is part of us for a reason and it is to be used in an appropriate manner. It is like fire, you can use it to heat your house but it can also burn it down. We are all here because in the distant past one of our ancestors wet his animal skin coveralls and fled when he saw the saber tooth tiger. Had early man not shown fear of the kitty from hell, they would not have been able to pass on their genes through the ages to us.
So what does this fear mean, and what do we do about it?
I say embrace it. Fear will always be part of what we do as martial artists and we should acknowledge it. We can't let fear control us, but we can't deny it at the same time.
And a lot of people try to deny fear. One of the famous lines from martial arts marketing is, "Fear no man ever again!" That is a bunch of BS.
I know guys who work at things like bouncing and have sent more men to the hospital than I have had girlfriends. And they still worry about getting home at the end of a shift. So if anyone tells you that they don't fear muggers and the like, then they are a fool and/or a liar. In many cases, they probably are lying to themselves rather than acknowledge the fear they should.
In order to flee from fear, many martial artists try to have a magic sword of some sort. By this I mean they have something that they can say, "I have this, so I will be ok." Of course, they are in a sense of denial.
In my martial art of Bujinkan, there is what has been called, "The 800 year old security blanket." By that, it is meant that since it has been around a long time it must be a good system, so you are safe when you study it. I have seen the same thing with people that train under great martial artists such as Bruce Lee. They are great ass kickers, you studied under them, so you must be a great kicker of asses as well.
Not quite.
The best teachers still get bad students that just can't be helped. The best doers sometimes can't teach worth a damn. No matter how good those that went before you were, everything you accomplish will be by your own efforts. You can't make someone else take responsibility for what you do, even though that seems to be getting more and more common in the martial arts world.
Then there are those that try to sit on what they have done to keep this fear at bay. But as they say in the stock commercials, "Past performance is no indicator of future returns." When someone gets a high rank, they often try to use that as proof that they will be able to take care of themselves. But even world class boxers have fallen to street punks. One guy who was being dropped off in a bad part of a city was asked if he thought it was a good idea. His response was, "Hey, I'm an MMA fighter!" Of course, that would not save his ass if he got cornered by several guys with knives. In cases like that, running shoes are of more use than trophies in your closet.
Another way people try to deny their insecurity is to take one aspect of training and place great importance on it. This allows people to control the situation, even though that is not possible with violence. There will always be something else you probably can learn or do to help. But if you concentrate on something like sparring, then you can see the results and take comfort in it. Sparring is used by many to help their training, but the Gracies are now cautioning against many schools that don't use sparring for training, but train to spar instead. If you abandon all the other aspects of self defense (and justify it in your mind some way) you can concentrate on how to win in the ring under known circumstances and do much better than someone with the same amount of experience, but spread themselves thinner by practicing more on things like dealing with weapons.
Indeed, if you are going to practice to defend yourself you need to be studying a lot of things and can't take comfort in where you are right now. I once sat in a hotel room while two men who have long resumes with violence traded notes because neither of them thought that they had all the answers yet.
Compare that with the guys that start their own styles. They are saying that they know all there is to know, no matter what excuses they give. At the same time, they are trying to convince themselves that they don't have reason to fear, and that there isn't something out there that will totally surprise them because they never sought it out.
And that is the reality if you train for self defense. You will never have all the answers and you can never rest on your laurels. There will always be the fear that there is something you haven't learned yet, or haven't gotten down enough, or some mistake you do that you are not aware of. Your choices are simple. You can embrace the fear and keep pushing your limits or you can find some way to try to deny it.
But some of us just can't deny reality. We live with the fear and are not ashamed to admit it. I don't expect to get sent to a war zone any time soon, but I do keep practicing and seeking out something I might have overlooked before. It is a never ending journey, which is probably why martial arts is often referred to as a path in Japanese instead of a destination.
As much as we would like to say, “I have arrived and I never have to push myself again” that simply is not true. The word used in Japanese for martial arts uses the term path, and not that for destination. Something keeps us growing, and often that is fear.